The Big Blog Brouhaha

It was a quiet Saturday night and Beatrix was showing Hula, as best she could, the intricacies of the internet. Now Hula is not an ignorant little rabbit, but the world wide web was a mostly new thing to her. The life of a professional muse leaves little time for such diversions.

So there they were, pawing around the web and it was all interesting enough until Beatrix suggested that they Google "Hula Bunny" -- and that's when things took a turn for the curious, for none of the rabbits had any idea as to how popular they had become as rubber stamps.

Of course they remember posing for the drawings and they recall the eagerness of waiting to be discovered. But the life of a rabbit is very busy, there's fresh cocoa to be brewed in the winter, iced tea to be steeped in the summer, kites to fly, gardens to till, crops to be harvested; in the hubbub of daily living, well, they kind of forgot.

They forgot, that is, until Beatrix showed Hula how to Google herself. What followed was an escalating series of shocks and revelations. The rabbits couldn't believe what they saw and read. There they were in dozens of handcrafted greeting cards in situations that startled and surprised them.

The first site that the search linked to was the Stamp LaJolla image gallery -- where many different stampers have posted artwork featuring Hula and the other rabbits. Looking at all the different interpretations of herself, Hula's ears shot up, and she put her paw to her mouth.

"They made my grass skirt pink! Can they make my skirt pink?" inquired a rather startled Hula.

"Well, it is a free market economy," pointed out Beatrix.

Hula looked from the pink skirt on the screen to the lush green skirt she was wearing, and back to the pink one on the screen again, her brow furrowing in consternation. "Maybe there's something wrong with the computer."

"I don't think so," said Beatrix.

Bunnie wander into the office and saw Hula and Beatrix puzzling over the images. "What's going on?" said Bunnie.

"There's something wrong with Beatrix's computer. Somebody made a card out of me except my skirt looks pink," explained Hula.

"There's nothing wrong with my computer," exclaimed Beatrix rather hotly.

Bunnie peered at the gallery of greeting cards featuring the rabbits on the screen. "For heavens sake, they made me lavender," exclaimed Bunnie.

"It's simply artistical license," Beatrix pointed out.

"But I look as if I've been dipped in Easter egg dye!" stated a clearly perturbed Bunnie.
Hula began thwacking the back of the monitor.

"Hey what are you doing?" said an alarmed Beatrix.

"I'm fixing the color. People do this all the time to their TVs. Sometimes it helps"

"There's nothing wrong with my computer!" said an exasperated Beatrix. "Here let's try another weblog."

She clicked the mouse and the next site was Carol Burrage's Mother's Little Helper, with a lovely card featuring Hula doing the hula hoop.

There", said Beatrix, "That's a nice one of you doing the Hula Hoop." Hula and Bunnie examined the screen closely.

"Oh my, you do look good in that one, don't you?" said Bunnie. "Look at how your skirt is flying out behind you. Are you using two Hula Hoops? You look so professional" Hula beamed.

Bunnie continued, "And she writes such nice things. See right here she says, 'I chose this Hula Bunnie because he reminded me of my friend Kristi's son, Bo."

"WHAT!" exclaimed Hula, her ears pointing straight to the ceiling. "That lady thinks I'm a boy!"

What's all the flap going on in here?" said Louise who now poked her head in the office.

"Ooh, come look, we're on the internet!" And this lady thinks Hula's A BOY!" exclaimed Bunnie.

"Really?" said Louise. "Do they mention me in particular. You know, I've been thinking lately that I should start to post some of my art on the web. That's what so many of today's artists are doing. Say Beatrix, could you help me with that?"

"Oh absolutely," said Beatrix. "And might I add that I think that's a very smart business move. A very sound way to broaden you clientele base with very minimal financial ..."

"That lady thinks I'm a boy!" exclaimed Hula, her voice rising an octave. "How could she think I'm a boy? I'm wearing a grass skirt for heaven's sake!"

"Oh, don't take it so personally," said Louise in a very practical fashion. "You are, after all, not wearing a top. And humans have a hard time seeing past their own anatomy,"

"But you're not wearing a top either!" said an exasperated Hula.

"But that's different," said Louise dismissively, "I'm wearing a tutu."

As all this was going on Beatrix was carefully reading the web site. "Actually, everyone," she said, squinting at the computer screen a little closer, "aside from Bunnie, I think this nice lady thinks we're all boys. Including you, Louise."

"But that's ridiculous!" said an incredulous Louise. "I'm wearing a tutu!"

"Well you aren't wearing a top and you know how humans are," said Hula. "Can't see past their own anatomy and all that stuff."

"Harry!" shouted Beatrix.

Now Harry poked his head in too. "What's up B?"

"Take a memo, sir!"

"Right," said Harry grabbing up Beatrix's memo clipboard. (Beatrix has a dozen clipboards - but that's a story for another time.)

"We need to send out an inter-internet memo: any resident of Rabbit Run seen wearing grass skirts, tutus or..."

"Formal gowns," inserted a very earnest Bunnie. Louise and Hula glared at her.

"What," said an exasperated Bunnie. "I don't want people to get the wrong idea about me. It could ruin my image!"

"What image?" they shot back in unison.

"As I was saying!" said Beatrix, in what she hoped was an authoritative way. "Any rabbit wearing any skirt of any kind is absolutely, positively 100% female. Send that out immediately."

"Actually," said Harry thoughtfully, "My uncle Fergus in Scotland wears a kilt, and he's not female."

Beatrix clapped her paw to her forehead in frustration. "Harry!"

Just then Fiver returned home from a gig. "What's going on here?" he said, as he surveyed the little circle of glaring rabbits. "Everyone's fur seems to be on end."

"We're viewing websites that feature us," said Beatrix. "We were just moving on to a different site," she added emphatically.

"Really?" said a curious and excited Fiver. "Can I look too?"

"Of course," said Beatrix. "only please try to stay calm. Everyone's getting much too fur fluffed today."

The next site was called All Inked Up, which featured a lovely Christmas card of Bunnie and a giant candy cane.

"Hey, look!" said Bunnie. "She put bangles on my leggings!"

"They're not half bad," said Hula.

"Take a look at this," said Harry. "She's having a contest. 'Pick your favorite rabbit stamp.' All these people are voting on us."

"Who won?" said Bunnie. "Did I win?"

"They seem to like the one of Hula at the stamp convention," said Beatrix, "but I think we all got a few votes."

"Hey!" said Harry. "Even I got one! Someone likes me shaving!"

"Did I get any votes?" said Fiver. "I don't see any for me."

"Don't feel bad," said Hula sympathetically. "It's only because there are hardly any stamps with you in the first place. You had a gig the day we were posing."

"But I'm very popular!" said Bunnie, a bit conceitedly. "Look! They like Bath Time Bunnie, that's me. And Bunnie's Finest! And...!"

"...Princess Me-No-Wanna," interrupted Louise.

"Princess Me-No-Wanna?!" said Bunnie. "They can't call me that! Can they call me that? We have to make them change that."

"I think it's too late," said Beatrix.

"Princess Me-No-Wanna!" wailed Bunnie. "One wrong career move and I've been typecast! I'm branded forever! People must think I'm a baby!"

Just then Chef Thelma poked her ears in the office and announced that the kitchen would be closing shortly and this was the last call for cocoa.

"Hey, come look," said Louise, "the Dust Bunnies are on the world wide web!"

"We are?" said a startled Thelma. "Where?"

"Here on Beatrix's computer," said Hula. "Don't be startled," she added solemnly, "you're a rather overcooked tan."

"No I'm not" said Thelma approaching the monitor, "I'm Baby Dove Gray."

"It's artistical license," explained Hula, "you can't fix it by hitting the monitor. I already tried that."

"Will you get your paws off my computer!" said a thoroughly put-out Beatrix.

* * *

Later, drinking cocoa, they all agreed that while it was nice to have people pay attention to them, it was also a bit perturbing. "It's good that people notice," said Bunnie, "but," she continued and her voice rose, "sometimes the assumptions that they make can be so, so ... outright and utterly wrong!" and slapped her little paw on the table in gesture of frustration and resentment.

Harry shot a furtive glance a Hula who was sipping her cocoa reflectively. "I don't think Bunnie's going to forget, 'Princess-Me-No-Wanna,' anytime soon," he whispered

"Mmm hmm," she said and then added, "Fame, it isn't all it's cracked up to be,"